Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
