well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
