On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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