You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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