wat bout pragnant strippers??
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
