There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
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she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
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We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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