i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
