i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
