Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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