actually, I'm a sock model
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.