Texts From Last Night

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  (909): View more from California

  It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity

  (909): View more from California

  Something's gotta give!

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  (909): It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity (909): Something's gotta give! http://tfl.nu/w8ji
  Replies (23) Good night (743) Bad night (1679)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  we're no longer friends

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  (603): i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube (1-603): we're no longer friends http://tfl.nu/kml0
  Replies (10) Good night (955) Bad night (2811)
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  (716): View more from New York

  honey bunches of taint.

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  (716): honey bunches of taint. http://tfl.nu/msqz
  Replies (11) Good night (1162) Bad night (2823)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  your address is 607B right?

  (785): View more from Kansas

  yeah why?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it

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  (913): your address is 607B right? (785): yeah why? (913): i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it http://tfl.nu/019d
  Replies (11) Good night (1285) Bad night (4161)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college

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  (360): just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college http://tfl.nu/r8zm
  Replies (24) Good night (4776) Bad night (1048)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.

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  (519): Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins. http://tfl.nu/y67p
  Replies (41) Good night (5093) Bad night (707)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  Mom wtf!?

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  (407): Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :) (1-407): Mom wtf!? http://tfl.nu/scw1
  Replies (33) Good night (6129) Bad night (1181)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.

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  (313): Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot. http://tfl.nu/hre1
  Replies (14) Good night (3763) Bad night (1104)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.

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  (913): I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/25xf
  Replies (3) Good night (1912) Bad night (690)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.

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  (814): I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos. http://tfl.nu/dk8h
  Replies (12) Good night (2925) Bad night (895)
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  (450): View more from Quebec

  I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement

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  (450): I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement http://tfl.nu/63m9
  Replies (1) Good night (808) Bad night (555)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.

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  (202): Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice. http://tfl.nu/it26
  Replies (9) Good night (560) Bad night (2649)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.

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  (206): Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious. http://tfl.nu/0zzq
  Replies (8) Good night (896) Bad night (505)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?

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  (570): Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises? http://tfl.nu/4z08
  Replies (1) Good night (659) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason

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  (519): You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason http://tfl.nu/2fdr
  Replies (2) Good night (548) Bad night (238)

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