Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.