spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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