NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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