Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
