Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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