no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Only a mothe r could love this liver
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Randomize
