Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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