what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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