I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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