so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think my vagina is haunted
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
