So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
