Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
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So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
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You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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