Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
