I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize