I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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