the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
