My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize