I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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