That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
