hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Even my vagina gasped.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
