mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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