Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
