Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
