they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
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I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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