I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
