the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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