She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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