so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
