Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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