This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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