I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's shark week go big or go home
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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