she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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