your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
