So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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