Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
