You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
