When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
