I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
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im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
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he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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