I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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