My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
