this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
