you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
