I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
