I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
