everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
