They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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