I heard we made out
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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