Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
