mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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