So drunk its hurt
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
