Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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