new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
