Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
