Just mADE A PArabola og urine
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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