A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
