I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I want a musical about memes.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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