You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
